A million words cant even explain how i feel.

Ok,so i just somehow lost one of my best friend in college. I dont really know if its avoidance or i have just lost them. I feel absolutely awful and torn apart. Ok so the truth here, if any of you's reading this post, im over it. I just want the awkwardness to end. I miss being just friends with you. We all get a little crazy sometimes. Ill do anything to make up to our friendship again. I feel fucking screwed up, like even when i smile now, i feel absolutely torn and dead inside. I just wish i could run off to another country for awhile.I just hope things will get better in time.I cherrish our friendship and i hope you know that im cool being friends. I just wanna go up to you and say sorry but you dont even look or talk to me anymore. I really hope you know that im fine and i dont want to walk pass you as if were both strangers to each other.